Lent
is upon us. Lent is a time when we reorient ourselves to the
most important truth in our existence: we are dust, but our souls are
eternal, and are made to be with our loving God for all eternity. We
turn back to God to improve our relationship with Him, to increase
our love for Him, to become ever more thankful for all the blessings
we receive daily.
During
Lent, we may give up something, increase our prayers, give more of
our time, money, resources for the needy. These are all wonderful
things and absolutely are fulfilling the spirit of Lent: prayer,
fasting, and almsgiving. Then Lent ends, its effects lingering for a
time in our lives, until the next Lent when we may realize our
relationship with the Lord is no closer than it was the previous
Lent. It is frustrating, defeating. I know! I want to propose a
suggestion for you to consider which may help with this problem, one
which I know I faced year upon year. Yes, you should deny the flesh,
pray more fervently, and give of your resources more generously, but
when Lent ends, and these self-imposed practices are one-by-one put
to the side, then what will be left to help you continue to grow
closer to God? What incentives will you have to continue spiritual
reading and to seek an ever deepening prayer life with the Lord? Will
anyone else around you be giving you prayerful community-like support
in your spiritual journey, or will they too have perhaps slackened
off until the next Lent?
I'm
writing to offer you, of my own volition, an invitation. I am
inviting you to continue your spiritual growth not only past Lent,
but for life—but not in a penitential way!--by considering becoming
a member of the Pauline Family. What is the Pauline Family? Founded
by Blessed James Alberione, there are ten branches of the Pauline
religious family; you are probably familiar with the Society of St.
Paul and the Daughters of St. Paul (you know the Pauline
bookstores!). You may not realize there are also other branches made
up of sisters, parish priests, consecrated single men and women and
members called Cooperators, who even support the order through living
Pauline spirituality and participating in the media apostolates, but
do not take the vows that all the other branches take. But the most
amazing part of the Pauline Family, in my opinion, is the branch
called the Holy Family Institute.
The
Holy Family Institute offers Vatican-approved, consecrated life for
the engaged, married and widowed, living their normal married life,
in their own homes, working at their regular jobs, while remaining
and serving in their own parishes but united in prayer. What does
this mean? This means that we, as marrieds/widows in the Holy Family
Institute are as much a part of the Pauline Family as the other
orders and institutes. We do not just promise to live our lives “in
the spirit” of the order. We are full-fledged members. We take
Church approved and regulated vows of poverty, chastity, and
obedience within
our state in
life.
If you are faithfully living out your marriage according to Church
teaching, you are likely already living the spirit of these vows
without having yet made them! We also take a vow of fidelity to the
Holy Father, the Pope. These are not private vows, but are witnessed,
monitored, and regulated by the Church.
Why
vows? When we make these vows, we become consecrated. We are “set
apart for a specific purpose.” Our very beings become a gift to the
Lord through the Pauline Family and every moment of our lives becomes
an act of religion or worship to our loving God. To quote from our
recent HFI magazine, “It is important to dwell on this thought:
once consecrated as full members of the Institute our
whole life is a prolonged act of worship of God, of praise of God,
ofthanks to God-even
when we cannot turn to Him consciously – when we are asleep, for
example.”
I
don't know about you, but when I learned this, a very deep YES
resounded from the bottom of my soul and I knew, knew! this
was what God wanted of me. It was as deep as the YES when I first
heard about homeschooling as a teenager and knew I would do that with
my children, and as deep as the YES when I knew that my husband was
“The One.” Strangely enough, it was eight years from the time I
was invited to the HFI to when I made the call to inquire. Why? I was
involved with another order, but in the end I knew I was not called
there. It took a couple of years after that to be ready to look
elsewhere to fulfill that call from the deep. Perhaps it may be years
before someone who reads this will give it a second thought, but at
the very least I have planted a seed.
What I
can share with you in this note about life in the HFI is limited due
to time and space (and because I could go on and on!), but if you
contact me privately with your questions I will answer them to your
satisfaction. It is truly something to experience yourself and you
are under no commitments until you have professed your commitment
yourself through entry into the novitiate (after a 9-12 month long
postulancy), and then even moreso by making your vows. I will,
however, try to give you a little glimpse right now about what living
the HFI membership means practically to someone like me, a
homeschooling wife and mother of 8 children.
The
first and foremost obligation in the HFI is to fulfill my duties as a
wife and mother. It comes before everything.
For example, if I have serious needs going on in my household, then I
may say the prayers I have memorized as I work, or remember to, but I
must tend to my primary vocation first. HFI members do not relegate
their families second to the Institute. We incorporate Institute life
and spirituality into our lives as best as we can. HFI life for young
families can look a lot different
than HFI life for empty nesters and the widowed. Again, I reiterate:
The Holy Family Institute is for the
family, not the family for the HFI. We strive to do our best at all
times to live the spirituality of the Pauline Family within our
families, but in a way which promotes and enhances our family lives.
After
I first contacted Fr. Tom, I started out with a little booklet of
daily HFI prayers. Later on I requested and received a beautiful
prayer book entitled The
Prayers of the Pauline Family.
This book is universal throughout all branches of the Pauline
Family. Once a month, I receive a mailing from the Institute
with a periodical called the “Concord.” In the mailing
there is also a CD which gives the formation teachings for that month
(these continue even after vows). Many times I listen to them more
than once because they are meaty and my retention can be low. In
these mailings you also receive a small booklet with quotes from
Blessed Alberione for each day, news on other HFI members, and
sometimes little “treats” like a booklet about Lent this month,
or extra writings on Pauline topics. I learned the importance of
making daily examinations of conscience to identify my principal
fault and to examine myself each day on my progression—or
regression—on that point. Ideally I would be doing daily
meditation, but when I cannot, and many times I cannot, or when I
have not disciplined myself to just DO IT, I do pray invocations to
Our Lord, to be sure I am staying in contact with Him throughout the
day. We stay in contact with Fr. Tom once a month. Some people just
send in a particular form which gives him an idea of how they did the
previous month, and some send an email to give a broader update. I'm
going to be honest—sometimes my updates look quite sad. I am a
weak, weak soul. But I always receive gentle encouragement back
from Fr. Tom. He knows we are striving, and is our cheerleader
telling us to “Keep on keeping on!” We also send a donation of
$20 a month. If finances prohibit one from doing this, it is not a
problem. We all go through those times.
Kermit
ended up joining me several months after I started, but your spouse
does not have to do the HFI with you. It is optimal, but not
required. After our Postulancy, which lasted a year
(summer2011-2012), we were received into the Novitiate in fall 2012
at the yearly weekend retreat in OH called the “Triduum” because
it lasts three days. It is a family retreat—there is something for
all ages! You are not required to attend, but you won't regret
it, the blessings are innumerable, and there is a fund to help those
who are having trouble making it work financially. We wouldn't have
made it there this year without that help. When we were received into
the Novitiate, we were given a little blue book called Statute
and Directory of the Holy Family Institute.
The Statute is our ideal to which we try to conform our lives, and
again, it is a life-long process. It isn't something to which we are
bound by the letter upon pain of sin. It is our roadmap and we try to
stick to it as best we can, but do not beat ourselves up over our
shortcomings. When I was early in my inquiry, I went and took a good
look at the Statute at my friend's house, the friend who had given me
the invitation 8 years prior. If you would like to have a glimpse
also, I am happy to help with that. When we lost baby George,
everything fell by the wayside. My spiritual life was reduced to
simply surrendering and contemplating Jesus on the cross. How did I
re-orient myself to get back on track? By reading through the
Statutes to remind myself of my goals, of Pauline spirituality, of
what I am committing myself to through the HFI. I am still getting on
track two months later, and that's okay.
I
mention Pauline spirituality, but have not really elaborated on that.
I admit, I am still learning it and will be learning it for a very
long time, but it is beautiful, and complete. The emphasis is on
Jesus Master, Way, Truth and Life. When we say Master, we do not mean
a judgmental dictator armed with a whip and ready to strike when we
slip up. Who Jesus Master is, is our first Teacher, the One who
has“mastered” the life of holiness, the life that leads to the
Father, the master that we learn from. He is the Master of mercy, the
Master of kindness, the Master of prayer, and the Master of love. He
is the Way to the Father; He is the Truth which leads to the Father;
He is the One who gives us the spiritual life through which we can
approach the Father. Paulines are devoted to Mary, Queen of Apostles.
A daily rosary is encouraged, as is Marian Consecration.
Pauline spirituality is intensely Eucharistic.
It is apostolic—our patron is St. Paul the Apostle—and the
apostolate of the Pauline Family is the spread of the Gospel through
the modern media. As HFI members, our primary way of participating in
this is to, again, fulfill our roles as spouses and parents, and all
we do is offered up as a prayer for the success of the Pauline
apostolate. Those who can do
more and are called to
do more, have done more, like open bookstores or start radio
stations. These are extraordinary examples of living that apostolate.
Kermit and I obviously do nothing of the sort. We take an intense
interest in guiding our children through the world of the media, we
share good media with them, and with others, and we evangelize
through our lives, and our words when appropriate.
We are
less than 7 months away from making our first Vows. We will make the
aforementioned vows for 1 year. Then, God-willing, we will renew that
for another year, then another year, then two years. After five years
of temporary Vows, we will (God-willing) be admitted to Perpetual
Vows. This path, however, is a lifelong path and thank goodness,
because we have a long way to go! Institute membership does not mean
we think we are “better” than anybody else. It simply means we
are responding to a call to commit ourselves and our lives in a
greater way to God. We are different flowers in God's great garden,
but not “better” flowers. Every state in life has its own
requirements and blessings which flow forth from living out that
state faithfully. This is no different. A married couple receives
particular blessings and fruits from faithfully living our their
marriage, and a person who is further consecrated through the HFI
receives not only the blessings and fruits from their marriage vows,
but also participates in the blessings and fruits that flow from
membership in the Pauline Family. If you wish to understand how
poverty, chastity and obedience are lived within the married state
(as I said you are probably already doing it right now) I am happy to
spell it out a little better for you in private messages, in person,
or by putting you in contact with someone who has been vowed for some
time. Just remember His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Friends,
this is a GIFT. Nothing but a PURE and TOTAL GIFT to the laity of the
21stcentury.
Radical times call for radical commitment to God. He has given us His
all—Can you give Him your all?
If you
are interested in looking further into this—with no obligation—you
can either contact me, and I'll have Fr. Tom send you information, or
you can contact him directly at:
(330)-533-5503
Fr. Tom
Fogarty
St.
Paul Monastery
Box 498
Canfield,
OH 44406
Also,
check out:
Holy
Family Radio: http://www.live365.com/stations/305819 You
can listen to Christian music, HFI reflections by Fr. Tom, and other
spiritually enriching talks.
Concord
current and past
issues: http://www.vocations-holyfamily.com/concordonline.html
Remember:
HOLINESS BEGINS AT HOME!
